A key for happy couple

What the hell is going on between my husband and that bitch?' Maya's patience was at its lowest ebb and she was ready to burst.

Sanjay knew that she was serious. 'Look, Maya. There is nothing going on between the two of them. Just a little bit of healthy flirting, I'd say.

'Flirting? Healthy flirting? Really Sanjay . . .' she rolled her eyes in disgust. 'That's what you men call it? There is nothing healthy about flirting, Sanjay, not for a married man.

Healthy flirting is a term introduced by perverted men who want to lend legitimacy to their extramarital dalliances. Flirting invariably has a sexual connotation to it.' She got up from her seat and walked around the room gesticulating and muttering something to herself. Suddenly she stopped, turned back, looked at Sanjay and asked, 'Did my husband sleep with her? You are his friend. Did he ever tell you anything about it?'

Her phone started to ring but she was not ready to give up, “Sanjay, please tell me. They both loved initially it seems. So there is a chance,” she kept asking and Sanjay’s reluctance made her more suspicious.

So, this is how the drama should ensue. I need to ask lot of questions and confuse Sanjay. It will reach Ragav’s ear and irritate him. Sanjay’s illusion disappeared.

Now I attended the prolonged ringing call. Unanticipated and unimaginable situation. Though the words from opposite side gave me a little bit happiness in somewhere of my heart, I don’t feel comfortable either.  Promptly, I ran into the hospital. He was admitted in ICU in a serious condition. Unknowingly, once I reached the hospital, my eyes feel the wet. Doctor asked me to wait outside and meanwhile nurse came with some papers, enquired and asked me to sign those; that was the only time I behaved as the wife of Ragav. I thanked the auto driver who had admitted him and he handed over certain things of Ragav. I called my parents, mother-in-law, friends Sanjay and messaged to even Neethu as they are close to Ragav in office. Even though it was not a good situation, my mind never allowed me to feel for Ragav. It started to plan the drama again to aggravate Ragav. Neethu arrived.

“Who the hell asked you to come here?” she glared at Neethu and asked.

Neethu did not utter any words but soon her eyes reacted better than Maya’s. Though it was not the right place, Maya did not leave, “you are the reason for everything. Because of you, I fought with Ragav and agitated him. He lost his peace and met with an accident. If something happens to him, I certainly will never leave you,” she blared.

“It’s not because of me, it was all because of you,” And after accusing her many times, Neethu finally howled in agony.

“Me?” she scowled at her.

“Yes if you hadn’t crossed our path, then we would have lived the happiest life now. I loved Ragav since college and you know that. After you entered into the life of Ragav, we split. But he was not happy with you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that he did not like you. You gave him stress and pressure. Now he is in ICU. I need my Ragav. Please get lost from his life”

Maya had expected this exact answer for more than a year. But will Ragav react in the same way? Neethu’s Illusion disappeared. The doctor came out from the ICU ward and informed that it was just a small surgery. He further told he was alright and he can be seen after 30 minutes. Actually, I should feel happy for that but I was not.  It was a little disappointing. What a worst human being I am! I cursed myself.

Meanwhile my phone rang and it was Rajesh, “Rajesh, I will call you later,” immediately conveyed after attending the call.

But before disconnecting, he replied, “Yes Maya, I know that. You must be in hospital,” and snorted.

It was kind of consternation and confusion. He added, “As you always told me, Ragav was only the trouble and looking for divorce. Why do you need to suffer by planning a lot of dramas? That’s why I tried to create an accident scene and give permanent relief to you. I believe he must be no more now.” There was a deep silence for the next two minutes and again he extended, “Don’t worry. I will be there for you always”

I was speechless. This unanticipated move by Rajesh made me more panicked. I did not want to kill Ragav at any point of time.  Though he was not sexually active, he was an admirable life partner. It was my mistake to give more space to Rajesh in my life.

“You will be shocked and angry with me. But if you sit and think for a few minutes, you will come to the conclusion that I’m right. After six months, we can marry and live a better life”

“Stop it Rajesh. I never expected this from you. How dare did you do this? He is my husband,” I interrupted and roared in anger.

“But you are loving me now”

“So, will you kill him for my mistake?”

“Maya, try to understand. You want to move away from your husband and live with me. Ragav will never give divorce to you; he is madly loving you. But what you achieve by living with such an impotent? You are wasting your beauty, youthful looks”

I disconnected the call immediately. Tears of guilt and regret rolled down my cheeks. Exactly five years back, I had met Ragav in the same hospital. It was a gruesome accident.Ragav was the one who had brought me to the hospital in an unconscious state. Without him, I would have died. Ragav is a soft-spoken, well behaved and gracious, a perfect gentleman. Slowly, he entered my life. I proposed to him, promptly he accepted. It was a love come arranged marriage.

It was almost three years since we were married, yet we did not have a child. Ragav was impotent. He told me after few days of our marriage. My only question to him was, “why didn’t he reveal it before marriage?” Though he gave many reasons for that, they satisfied neither my mind nor my body. I assumed he had deliberately deceived me. But my anger rose above the saturation point, when he opposed my proposal of artificial insemination, instead, he wanted to adopt a baby. What was the need to adopt a baby when I was physically healthy? I begged him many times to come to hospital, to talk to the doctor, but he always opposed. It simply showed his male chauvinism and suppression of women’s freedom. Apart from sexual life, Ragav was a perfect companion. But I’m a person who never compromises on anything for anyone in my life.

Rajesh just filled the gap between Ragav and me. He was my colleague in office, with whom I used to share everything. I started admiring him slowly and planned to live my real life with him but did not want to hurt Ragav either. Divorce was the only solution. But I did not feel like discussing this with Ragav directly, by asking for a divorce only because he was impotent. I knew that Ragav loved me truly but how could I compromise on my life? Either I did not want to show my real interest in Rajesh because I was locked in the name of culture, fearing the society’s view. So I planned to follow different strategy; like to create some grapevine against him by linking him with his long time college friend and colleague Neethu. I often planned a mind drama using illusive characters of Neethu and Sanjay and tried to execute it. It would I believed, heat up and Ragav would give divorce at one point of time. But never did I think about going beyond the limit and kill Ragav.

It was my mistake to get closer to Rajesh and discuss moving away from Ragav with him. My interest in Rajesh made him to think like a criminal. I was scared and regretted. I wiped my tears with the handkerchief. I could see some WhatsApp messages from Neethu, hovering upon the cracked screen of Ragav’s mobile which I had carried along with my kerchief. Even though I was not in the mood, my hand slowly opened Neethu’s chat. Blurred eyes, cracked screen, tried hard to read. From the message, I understood, Neethu was out of office today but had a chat with Ragav.

Neethu: Hey, I don’t understand why Maya is behaving like a psycho? She called me and was asking a lot of non-sense questions. Why does she always suspect our friendship? I hate it, Ragav.

Ragav: :( I say sorry on Maya’s behalf. I can understand your situation. Her enormous love for me makes her think like that.

Similarly, the chat went on. Every time, Neethu tried to degrade me, Ragav supported effortlessly. Of course, he maintained the role of a perfect husband unlike me. At one point of time, unexpectedly, Neethu started the topic of children.

Neethu: Okay, so why is she opposing the idea of adoption?

Ragav: I don’t know, Neethu. I believe I can convince her soon.

And that chat went on similarly, till the unbelievable happened!

Neethu :  I don’t think you both are the right pair of socks, moreover, you people don’t even have a baby. You look healthy and according to my analysis, it must be her who has some problem. As I have asked you before, why don’t we get married and live a peaceful life?

 Ragav: Neethu, don’t say anything wrong about Maya. She is capable enough to deliver children but, I’m impotent!!!. Let me talk to you, once I reach home. Gonna drive.

It was another awful situation and made my heart heavy. Will any male say to any other girl that he is impotent? Only Ragav can. Still my doubt is where did the genuineness go before marriage? May be, he doesn’t know that he is impotent? There is a lot of doubt on my mind, and proceeded to rest room by analysing.

I met Meena on the way to restroom. She is one of the nurses who treated me during my accident and she is close to Ragav as well. I’m seeing her after three years, the last time I met her was during my marriage. I’m not in the mood to talk with her since a lot of things are revolving in my mind but she did not leave me either.  At one point, she started to open the topic of children,

“Hey Ragav told me, he is planning to adopt a child by next month? So finally you are convinced?”

How come did this happen? Promptly my soft corner towards Ragav changed, how dare he told her like that, though I never agreed to it. I immediately retorted,“Why should I? I’m planning for artificial insemination. This hospital has that kind of facility right?”

She smiled and added, “Of course we have Maya but how come you can try for that?”

Again woman’s suppression by another woman, I got more furious and shouted, “why not?”

She smiled again and added, “But your uterus damaged in the accident right? You cannot try for intercourse or children either. Then how could you go for insemination. Instead you can ask Ragav to go for surrogate mother if you need child from Ragav’s gene”

I felt as though I fell from a 1000 feet high. For the next few seconds, I just lost myself. She slowly narrated few things, thought that I knew it before. I then left the place. Is this true? Slowly my mind started to relate a lot of incidents since the accident. My parents were so dull, they always talked to Ragav before my marriage and now even more over the phone without my knowledge. Ragav never allowed me to be alone for any of the general check-ups or not even during the fever to interact with the doctor, he completely avoided intercourse stating that he is impotent. These entire incidents made me believe that Meena’s words were true.

I was a fool, all these days I had believed him literally. I was awe struck and was unable to accept that I will not able to get conceived. I cheated him without understanding the truth. My tears did not stopped for the next few minutes. I immediately ran into the rest room. My heart was filled with guilt. I took out the blade from my handbag; I wanted to cut my hand and kill myself. I did not have any other choice. He loved me truly with no expectation but I failed to fulfil it. Hands trembling in fear. While i was bringing the blade closer to my hand, the phone rang. Blade slipped to the closet. After a few seconds, I come back to normal and attended the call. It was my mom stating that Ragav came to consciousness and asked her about me. I cut the call and kept the phone in my purse. Quickly analysed, is it right to quit my life? Of course not. I don’t like to repeat the mistakes again and again. I walked out of the restroom and ran to Ragav’s ICU ward. Neethu, Sanjay and many had arrived it seemed but my emotions never stopped me either. Once I entered the ICU, my mom walked out. There were a lot of stretches and wounds over Ragav’s body. I controlled my tears and emotions and said, “I’m sorry, Ragav. Don’t worry. You will be alright”, promptly he smiled and replied, “When you are with me, I will never be worried”. And the next minute, my emotions came out, I ran towards him and held his legs and started to weep uncontrollably.

Marriage is not the right relationship to apply women’s empowerment or think about male chauvinism. Compromise is the key for happiness. The best pair does not mean that they have everything but they know how to compromise with what they do not have and live a happy and peaceful life.